Esme's Story
by iheartcarlislecullen
Summary: This is my version of how Esme became a vampire. It tells the story of her life right up to Twilight. Please read and review! I do not own Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, you guys! I'm super nervous because this is my first fanfic. And it would make me so happy if at least one person read this and wrote me a great review. That would make my day! So, anyway, this is my version of how Esme became a vampire. It tells the story of her life right up until Twilight. I've made a lot of changes, so I hope you all like it. **

**Esme's Story**

**Esme's POV**

Everything was so clear. The world seemed to stand out in a million different colors. It seemed to be brilliant and I had to shut my eyes to block out the intense light. I could hear the birds chirp, could feel each individual drop of rain that hit my face. The beauty here literally took my breath away. I gasped for air as my breathing quickened and my heart raced. Images flashed through my head, one right after the other. Tears streamed down my cheeks, blinding me. I took one more deep breath that came out as a choked sob. And then I jumped.

It seemed as if the icy water leapt up to meet me. It was like landing on top of a wall of rocks. The instinct to fight back against the inky blackness was almost unbearable. As I struggled against the waves, water filled my lungs. So many people will tell you that drowning is peaceful. They wouldn't know. In reality, drowning is slowly, painfully dying while being completely aware of your surroundings.

My dress quickly soaked up the water and I sank into the depths below. I couldn't see anything. It was like being enveloped into nothingness. My last thought was of my beloved son, Noah. It was he who gave me peace at last, when I thought that it was all gone. Noah, my precious angel. I would see him soon now. He was now the voice in my head, soothing me and telling me that everything would be fine. And then I stopped fighting. My limbs stopped thrashing, as I took my last breath of air on this Earth.

All was quiet. Pain. Terrible, severe pain. This wasn't right. Where was Noah? Where was the beautiful scene I had imagined before I had died? Or had I even really drowned? I tried to open my eyes and found that I couldn't. A fire was burning inside of me. The very core of my being felt as it were being split in two by raging flames. I think I cried out in pain, but I couldn't be sure. All I could hear was the sound of my own tortured thoughts.

My memories came back to me, adding misery to my already painful state. I remembered that day when my only son, my two year old Noah, had fallen into the water. My husband and I had taken him on a picnic by the lake. John and I were on the blanket finishing lunch as Noah played by the water. It all happened so fast. I remembered hearing a splash and seeing John jump in the water. But it was too late. My only son had drowned. And with him, my hopes and dreams sank as well.

When I came back to my present state, I realized the intense pain from earlier had dulled. Or perhaps the pain of my memories made my physical pain seem less significant. My pain was still there, but it was a throbbing ache instead of a consuming fire. I was able to ease into a much needed sleep.

When I became conscious again, I immediately noticed the difference. My pain was almost completely gone. What little of it remained was concentrated in my throat. It felt dry, as if I hadn't had water in years. And yet I did not desire it. My next thought was the fact that I knew I could open my eyes. But I was hesitant to do so, because I could sense that I was not alone. My extreme curiosity got the better of me.

I looked and then shut my eyes quickly. The light seemed magnified a thousand times. A groan escaped my parched lips and I realized that I could hear again. In fact, it seemed like I could hear the slightest sound-the creak of the house that I thought I was in and the rustle of leaves in the trees. Another sound soon came to my ears. It was the sound of murmuring, as if there were people close to me. A hand touched my forehead. Instead of being afraid at the unexpected contact, I was somehow comforted. Peace settled throughout me and gave me the courage to open my eyes. And as I did so, I was met with a beautiful sight.

**A/N: So, what do you guys think? I know it's not very good, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Please, please, please leave me reviews and suggestions if you have any. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's Chapter 2. This one is in Carlisle's point of view. I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!**

**Carlisle's POV**

It was a day like any other when my life changed drastically. I use the term "life" somewhat loosely. At that point in time I wasn't even attempting to be a part in the human race. I floated through time, just merely existing.

Edward had been my constant companion now for many years. Truly, he helped me through dark times where, would I have been alone, I cannot imagine what would have resulted. Though he himself could be moody and pensive, I found in him a light that burned bright and strong. His intelligent conversations and insightful views on matters saved me from going mad. But still, Edward was not enough.

I felt as though there was a gaping wound where my dead heart used to beat so many ages ago. I tried to fill the void with something, anything. Research, music, books-I tried everything that my weary mind would suggest. The dull, throbbing ache that was now my very essence continued its steady march onward.

One morning, however, would change me forever.

The sky was dark and foreboding, as rain first began to touch down and make light patters on the cobblestone path outside of the doorway. Thunder rumbled in the near distance with the threat of more to come. I loved this weather! I loved everything about it. The greenish tint in the sky, the rain drops tracing clean patterns on the window, sharp flashes of lightning. But what I loved most about this weather was the freedom it gave me. I could walk outside in the middle of the day without covering up and hiding. There would be no worries of the sun touching my skin and making it shine like a million, glittering diamonds. I suddenly, and ironically, felt full of that bright sunshine that I so dreaded. For today, I could just be myself.

"Edward, I'm going for a walk. Would you care to join me?"

Edward, who was seated nearby reading, glanced quickly out the window. "No, I believe I'll stay in today, Carlisle. Thank you."

I nodded in understanding. Edwarddidn't share my feelings for storms, but he was quite familiar with my fondness for them. Walking leisurely through the quickening rain fall, I found myself contemplating my relationship with Edward. He had become almost like a son to me, despite the fact that there wasn't even ten years' difference between the two of us. Now that I had gained Edward's trust, respect, and possibly his friendship, I thanked God for letting me have one source of light in my dark and troubled world. But dissatisfaction quickly returned followed by a feeling of guilt. I knew that I should be grateful for having Edward. Why was I not happy? Why did it seem as if I weren't whole?

I was jolted out of my reverie when I heard a thunderous roar. It wasn't the storm; it had passed and now only a light drizzle fell. Looking around, I immediately found that while pondering, I had walked so far as to come to the waterfall at the very edge of town. It was a favorite spot of mine when I needed a peaceful spot to study, write, or just to think. I almost turned around to go back towards home, when I felt a very strong urge to stay. It was almost as if something was pulling me towards the rocky banks of the water.

I walked over to the edge and looked down into the murky depths below. The mist from the falls was spraying my face in a thin sheen of water. I knew I should start walking back to the town, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling that I was missing something important.

Chuckling to myself, I started to turn around, but then something white caught my eye. It was in the water, moving slightly as if were alive. I became curious to know what it was, so I leaned further over the edge to gain a closer look. "Oh, my God!" I could make out the faint outline of what appeared to be a woman's body in the rapidly moving water. Without a second thought, I shed my vest and shirt and dove into the water below.

I hit the waves hard, crashing right below the tumultuous water. Vainly, I tried to see through the cloudiness and found I was having no success. Finally, my arms struck a solid surface and I was relieved to see that it was indeed, the woman. Praising myself for being an excellent swimmer, I pulled her up to the top of the water and laid her on the sharp rocks. She was unconscious and lost a considerable amount of blood. Being a doctor, I knew that there was no hope for this young woman to survive. But being a vampire, I knew that there was at least one chance that she would.

And so, it was here at the edge of the water where she almost died, that I had to make a monumental decision. Did I just let her die, here and now, without even trying to help her? Or should I turn her, so that she too would lead the undead life that Edward and I faced every day? Seconds turned to minutes. There was a point where I could not even turn a human. What should I do? I looked at her beautiful, pale face that seemed so young. It just wasn't fair. She shouldn't have to die like this, young and pretty and alone. And so I made my decision.

I changed her right then and there, behind a huge poplar tree that was far enough away for me to avoid detection by any curious passersby. If I could have cried, I would have been sobbing by the time I was through consuming her blood and changing her. I had just saved this young woman's life by ending it. I quickly threw her over my shoulder and ran home. The skies were dark as I came through the door to the house where Edward and I lived. The woman I was holding was writhing in pain and agony.

Edward froze where he was, standing by the bookshelf. "Carlisle, what in the hell have you done?" His face was livid with anger. I stayed silent, running up the staircase with my poor girl. He followed closely behind. "Answer me, damn it! Have you turned this girl into one of us?"

I gently laid her down on the bed; for now, she had blacked out from the pain. "I did what I had to do, Edward."

"Really? Why did you have to do this? What was so urgent that she had to be turned into a blood-sucking vampire?"

"Edward, please, you must understand. I wouldn't do this to someone if it wasn't completely necessary. I found her in the water out by the falls. She was almost dead. I had no other way to save her. I had to do it or she would have died."

"She did die. You killed her. You should have just let her die, the natural way. The way we're all supposed to die." His anger was making him speak faster and faster. I knew he sometimes resented me for turning him into a vampire. These words he spoke were like a knife twisting in my stomach. For the second time that day, I wished that I could cry. Seeing my pain, Edward calmed down. Clearing his throat, he said softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things that I said. I'm just surprised."

"I'm surprised too, Edward. I was going to let her die, but then…Then, I looked at her face and knew that she wasn't supposed to leave this earth. Not here and definitely not now. I needed to save her. I had to save her!" Edward looked at me with something like surprise on his face. But he just nodded and left the room.

The young woman was in agony for three days. Sometimes she would be unconscious, while other times she was awake moaning and mumbling in excruciating pain. I never left her side. Edward would occasionally relieve me so that I could go and hunt. But, other than that, I stayed by her side and held her hand. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." Finally, on the third day, I could tell that it was almost time. The pain had lessened considerably and she stirred from her heavy slumber.

"Edward, come here! Quick! She's waking up!"

Edward came into the room, having heard my whispers from downstairs. He rushed in the room and looked at the girl. And, just then, her eyes fluttered open.

**The next chapter will be back in Esme's point of view as she finally wakes up. I'm thinking of switching back and forth between Carlisle and Esme's points of view for each chapter. If there is anybody that is reading this story and enjoying it, please leave me a review. I need the encouragement! :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have been super busy! I will try to update more often now. Oh, and thanks to my very first reviewer, Edward's Doll! Keep reading and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I still don't own Twilight. **

**Esme's POV**

_**A hand touched my forehead. Instead of being afraid at the unexpected contact, I was somehow comforted. Peace settled throughout me and gave me the courage to open my eyes. And as I did so, I was met with a beautiful sight. **_

The man who was now leaning over me was the most gorgeous person I had ever laid my eyes on. His blonde hair was brilliant, an almost glowing white. I had the strangest desire to stretch out my fingers and touch him. He was an angel. I immediately knew that this glorious creature was not an ordinary human being. But could I really be in heaven?

The man shifted slightly, in a movement both subtle and extremely graceful. And then he spoke. "Hello, my dear. I am Dr. Carlisle Cullen. How are you feeling?" His voice was even more beautiful than he was, if that was even possible.

I sat up in the huge bed that I was currently lying on. For the first time, I noticed a second person in the background. He was a young man, not many years apart from me. His tousled, bronze hair shone in the light; his face was that of a marble statue, neither moving nor speaking. Where was I? How did I end up in this house with two extremely attractive men? I was then struck with an intense feeling of guilt. My first thought had not been of my son, but of the man now standing next to me. I had to find out where I was and if…if I was still alive.

My throat still felt incredibly raw and hot. Something was not right. I didn't feel right. It's not that I was in any sort of physical pain, besides the constant stinging in my throat, but I felt different. The world around me seemed to be magnified a thousand times. I felt like I could hear everything at the same time. When I opened my mouth to speak, I felt a catch in my throat. "Where am I?" Another shock ran through my body. My voice! Even my voice sounded different! It had an almost melodious quality to it now, a sound that seemed to hint at music and laughter. "Where am I? What's wrong with me?"

The handsome doctor patted my arm reassuringly. "You're fine, my dear. There is nothing wrong with you." The bronze haired boy snorted in derision. With a quick glance over his shoulder, the doctor continued to speak to me in soothing tones. "You had a bad fall. I just happened to see you in the water and was able to…save you. The pause in his speech was short, but noticeable. "Now, if you could just please tell me your name and what happened, if you could." I said nothing. "I promise you that you are safe. You are at my house. I have been taking care of you, waiting for you to wake up. If you'll just tell me what happened, then I'll explain everything to you."

"Really, Carlisle?" Suddenly the young man spoke up, seemingly angry and agitated. "You're just going to tell her everything? Just like that? What about when she needs to feed? She's already thirsty, I can see it in her eyes. What then, Carlisle?"

"Edward, I'm going to take care of this. We're going to get through this." Carlisle turned back to me. "Please, tell me." His voice had taken on a pleading tone. For some reason, I felt sorry for this man in front of me. He seemed so kind, but yet so burdened.

Trying to ignore my voice and my growing sense of alarm, I began to speak. "My name is Esme. I live not far from here with my…with my husband, John." I thought for sure that the tears would begin to flow freely now that my husband's name had been mentioned. But when none came, I continued on. "One week ago, my husband and I had taken our son, Noah, on a picnic down by the water." My grief was almost unbearable at this point, but still no tears fell from my eyes. "John and I were eating and Noah was playing in the water. It all happened so fast. Noah fell into the water and John wasn't able to get to him fast enough. He drowned." I stopped talking, unable to go on.

Carlisle looked at me with sympathy very evident in his eyes. "I am so sorry that you lost your son. Did you…?"

"Yes, I jumped off of that cliff. I felt like I couldn't stand to face another day without my son. I never imagined that I would survive. Now, that I have told you my story, Dr. Cullen, you must now tell me what happened to me." The one named Edward sighed and hurried out of the room. I could hear his footsteps all throughout the house as he walked.

"You must not pay any mind to Edward. He can be a bit moody sometimes."

"That is fine. Please, Carlisle. Tell me what is wrong with me. I know that something is not right. I feel so different. I'm scared."

This statement seemed to cause the doctor much pain. I saw something horrible flash in his eyes, like a mixture of guilt and sorrow. "I was taking a walk three days ago when…" He paused when he saw my face. "Yes, you have been unconscious for three days. I was taking a walk and I ended up by the waterfall. It's almost as if…But, anyway, I saw something white move in the water. When I looked closer, I saw that it was you. I jumped in and pulled you out and then I brought you back here to my house. I've been waiting for you to wake up ever since then."

"But how did you know that I would wake up?" Dr. Cullen seemed to be terribly bothered by this question. The silence stretched on for what seemed like forever. And then it seemed like he came to a decision. "Do you feel a burning pain in your throat that seems like it will never end? Do you have desires that you can't explain?" His questions were coming faster and faster now. "Is everything clearer and crisper now? Do you feel as if you can see and hear better?"

I nodded in turn to each of his questions. He was describing my feelings very accurately. "Yes, I feel all of what you are saying, Doctor. The pain in my throat seems to be getting worse. Do you know what is wrong with me? Can you help me?"

"Yes, I know what your problem is. And, Esme, I really hope that I can help you. Please follow me." He moved from my side and motioned for me to follow him. I did as requested and got up from the bed. Again, I was met with another surprise. I seemed to be so smooth and agile now. It seemed like I was moving with a grace that I had never possessed. I followed the doctor out the door and into another room, which must be the living quarters. He took my hand and pulled me to a mirror. "Look at the mirror, Esme."

And here awaited my biggest shock yet. I looked completely different. I had always been somewhat average, a little on the plain side. But not now. I barely recognized my face. I was beautiful. My hair hung in caramel waves, framing my heart shaped face. My lips were fuller and a deep rose color. My skin was perfect and marble. As I looked into my eyes, all of that beauty faded away. Because what looked back at me was not beautiful at all, but hideous. My eyes were the brightest red I had ever seen in my life. I turned away in horror at what I had become. What was wrong with me? I whirled around to face the doctor. "What have you done to me? What is wrong with me? Did you do this?"

The look of pain registered again on his face. "Please, let me explain. I had to do this in order to save you. I didn't have a choice. Please…"

"What did you do? What did you to me?!" I was practically shouting now, my new voice going to octaves that should have shattered the glass before me. But, I didn't care. I was panicking now, getting more and more upset with each moment that Carlisle Cullen didn't answer me. "What have you done to me?"

Dr. Cullen lowered his head. "I…I have made you like me."

"I don't understand."

"I have made you a vampire."

**A/N: I know this chapter was boring, but I had to write it so I could get on to more exciting things. Hopefully, the next chapter will be better. So, read and review, please! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey, everyone! I just want to thank all the awesome people that have reviewed or put my story on their favorites list. You all are great! So, please keep reading and reviewing!**

**Chapter 4**

**Carlisle's POV**

"_**I have made you a vampire."**_

I knew as soon as the words had left my mouth that it was a terrible mistake. I had just told this fragile young woman who had recently lost her son and tried to kill herself that I had turned her into a vampire. What was I thinking? The look on Esme's face told me all I needed to know. At least half a dozen emotions flitted across her beautiful face in a matter of seconds. Confusion was first, as if I had spoken in a language she didn't understand. This was followed quickly by disbelief and finally, anger.

"Excuse me, sir? Did I understand you correctly? Did you actually just say that you have turned me into a vampire?" She was practically spitting the words out at me. "You're telling me now that I am a vampire? That is your explanation?" She laughed one time, short and bitter.

Thoughts were racing in my head. Maybe I could go back and change what I had said. Perhaps now was not the time to tell her that she was indeed a vampire, the living dead.

"No, Carlisle. You need to tell her now." Edward had somehow entered the room without me hearing him. Now, like so many other times, I wished that he could not hear my thoughts. I could never have any privacy, not even in my own head. I resented him for having that ability and was immediately struck with guilt. He could still hear me. But he seemed to pay my thoughts no more attention. Instead, he had his attention focused on Esme.

"Listen, miss, I'm sorry, but what Carlisle is saying is the truth. We too are vampires and Carlisle thought that it would be beneficial to turn you into one as well."

"No, Edward, stop. I need to be the one to explain my actions." Anger boiled inside of me at Edward's careless words. How dare he be so sarcastic and flippant over this! I turned back to Esme, pity in my eyes. "We all need to sit down and discuss everything. I will explain all of this to you. I will answer any questions that you might have and help you in any way that I can."

Esme stood in the corner, eyes closed and shaking her head. I tried to soothe her the best way I knew how. "I am very sorry that I have put you through this. I was trying to help you. And I'm sorry that this is the way you had to find out. But I really believe that if we all sit down and talk things over, that maybe we can all get through this together."

She still stood with her eyes closed. "We can get through this together? I wake up in a strange house after jumping off of a cliff with two people I don't know. I feel different, completely changed. I try to ask you what's wrong with me and you tell me that I am a vampire. How are you trying to help me?" She was suddenly yelling. "If you want to help, then please just tell me honestly what is wrong with me and take me to a doctor. I need to see my husband! I need to see him now!" Her eyes flashed open, red glinting in the light. Before I could do anything to stop her, she struck out at the fireplace and smashed her fist into the brick. Two of them crumbled to dust beneath her blow. Esme stood there wide eyed and shocked, looking at the destruction that she had caused. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. And then she sank to the ground, head in her hands, sobbing without tears.

My still heart seemed to crumble into dust along with the bricks at that moment. I thought back to the moment when I had first become a vampire. I was alone and scared. I made a promise to myself right then and there that Esme would never be alone. She may be scared, but I would make sure that she would always have someone if that was what she wanted. I reached out to put my hand on her shoulder, but she flinched violently back.

"Don't touch me!"

Edward had been standing still during this whole episode. He was staring now at Esme, with a mixture of pity and disgust in his amber eyes.

"Edward, if you'll excuse us for a moment?"

"Do you really think that's best?

"Yes."

Without another word, he stalked silently out of the room. I was left alone with the grieving Esme, at a loss for words for one of the first times in my life. Being a doctor, I often had to console patients or their families, but this was something different. I had never experienced anything like this before. Even Edward was different. When I had changed him I, of course, was met with disbelief. But once Edward discovered his true nature, he had not reacted like this. There was anger and rebellion, but not such grief as this. There seemed to be no possible words for what was happening here. But I would not have to be the first one to speak. Esme herself uttered the first words.

"Is it true? Are you really speaking the truth? Have I truly become a…?" She let her words trail off, unable to speak them out loud. She was still hunched down in the corner, with her head resting on her bent knees. "Surely your words must be a lie. But why would you lie to me about such a thing?" She was thinking out loud now, trying to reason with herself. She was trying to convince herself that there could be no possible way that I was telling the truth. I remember that feeling well; I often told myself this in the beginning. But when the urge for blood got unbearable, I could deny it no longer.

I spoke up quietly, sitting beside her on the floor. "I promise you that I am telling you the truth. I wish that I could say that I was lying and none of it is true, but I can't. I'm sorry."

Esme finally looked at me, made eye contact. "So, you want me to believe that the cause of my…ailment is vampirism?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"But, no sane person believes in vampires. Just the superstitious ones. It can't be true." Again, she was trying to convince herself. But she didn't sound as sure this time.

"Esme, this is the reason for your differences. It is why your appearance is different. It's why you are incredibly strong. It is why you are extraordinarily observant, with your sight and hearing. And this is the reason why your thirst is so strong, yet you crave no water. This is why you thirst for blood."

"Oh, my God." I knew this got to her. She had finally realized what her strongest desire was: blood. And unfortunately, it was not the animal blood that Edward and I had made a diet of. It was human blood.

"Oh, God help me." She was looking towards me now, desperation evident on her face. "I think…I think that I need something. I am…I am so thirsty. Please help me. Oh, please help me!"

"It's okay. There's nothing to worry about. Edward and I go hunting for animals, so that we can drink their blood. We like to think of ourselves as vegetarian vampires. We don't hurt any humans, Esme. It makes us feel a little less like monsters." I could tell that her anxiety was growing, as well as her thirst. "Listen, I don't think that you are quite ready to go hunting for anything just yet. I'll go get Edward and he can catch you a deer or something, so that you won't be quite as thirsty any more. It will take some time for that pain in your throat to go away. The thirst is always intense for a newborn vampire."

She started pacing the room, back and forth, much too fast for a normal human. "I need to see my husband. Can you take me to him? I really need to see him."

I shook my head. I had been dreading this moment all along. "No, right now you need to stay here, so Edward can get you something to eat and I can watch after you. I am a doctor, remember." The conversation where I told her that she would never be able to see her husband again would have to wait. I knew the time was not right. She was in no state, emotionally or physically, to hear those painful words.

"But, I need to see John right now. He can save me. I know he can. He's probably so worried about me. I just have to see him!"

I needed to control her anger, before she ended up destroying something else or even hurting me. Newborns could be so very dangerous. She needed the blood; hopefully, that would calm her down enough so that I could fully explain the situation to her. I still wasn't completely sure that she even believed me. "Esme, why don't you just sit down while I go talk to Edward for a moment? I'll be back in one minute."

I found Edward in the next room. "Edward…"

"Yes, I will go hunting for her."

"Thank you."

I hurried back to talk to Esme. If I had been human, I would have gasped. "Oh, my God."

"Carlisle, what is it?" Edward had entered the room behind me.

I stared at the open door in disbelief.

"Esme is gone."

**A/N: Okay, there's Chapter 4. I hope everybody likes it! Please give me some more awesome reviews, guys! The more I get, the faster I update! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post chapter 5. I've started back to college and I am so busy! So thank you all for being so patient with me. And thanks to everyone who has reviewed my story! You guys are great! It would be really great if even more people reviewed this chapter! *hint, hint* I hope everyone enjoys the chapter. Oh, and yeah, I don't own Twilight. **

**Chapter 5**

**Esme's POV**

A million different thoughts flitted through my head as I rushed out the door. I was desperate to see my husband. I knew that if anyone in the world could help me, it would be him. I was also trying so very hard not to think of what that man had just told me. Part of me wanted to laugh, but the other half was frightened to think that it could be true.

Could it be true? Even though what that doctor Cullen had said was so absurd, it rang true to some extent. Well, I had to admit that the things he spoke of were the exact symptoms that I had. I looked and felt completely different. My newfound strength was incredible, as was my outward appearance. But the thought of blood being my only source of food…The thought disgusted me. Or did it? When I thought of warm blood rushing down my throat, I imagined myself being satisfied by it. It's almost as if…I craved it.

I could deny it no longer. It was fresh blood that I now desired.

I could smell it all around me from the people in the streets that I passed. All I would have to do is find someone down one of the dark alleys and…I stopped my thought process quickly. I couldn't be thinking of attacking a human and drinking their blood, could I? But yet I was already referring to people as humans, which left me as a vampire. I quickened my pace and then remembered that I could move at a rapid pace that was not normal, so I slowed back down to brisk run.

When I was within a close distance to my house, I suddenly stopped. I was about to approach my husband who probably thought that I was dead. I had been gone for days without contacting John. And my appearance! Did I dare walk into the house and talk to him? There was a chance he wouldn't even recognize me. I almost turned around and left right then, but I struggled on. This was my husband, the one and only love of my life, now that Noah was gone. A sharp pain passed through me at the thought of my son, as I walked through the doorway.

"John?" I called softly as I stepped inside. "John, are you here?" And there he was. Oh, how I had missed him! I hadn't realized how much until I saw him. For the first time, I began to believe that I had made a huge mistake in taking that step off of the cliff. It's true that the most important part of my life was now missing, but I still had something that I couldn't bear to lose. "Oh, John, I've missed you so much!" I ran towards him, remembering to move at a normal speed. But he quickly stepped out of my path.

"What the hell are you?" John spoke now, with his teeth gritted and his fists clenched at this sides. His eyes swept the room, as if searching for something. Finally, they landed on his gun as he swiftly picked it up.

His use of the word "what" instead of "who" pained me more than I thought possible. "John, it's me, Esme. It's your wife. I know I look a little different, but I promise you that it's me."

He shook his head, back and forth, furious motions. "No, my wife is dead."

I stepped closer, only to have him point the gun at me. "John, please, just listen. I…I was so upset over Noah and I thought that I couldn't live to see another day. I know now that it was a mistake, but then all I could think about was our son. I…I jumped off of a cliff. A doctor found me and was able to save me. Please, John, you have to believe me. I have missed you so much. I've been unconscious for three days. I feel very different and I'm scared, but I know you can help me get through this and figure out what's wrong with me. You believe me, don't you?"

He slowly lowered the gun so that it was pointing towards the floor. Then he dropped it completely. It landed with a loud thud as he continued to speak. "How can you explain the way you look? If you're really Esme, then why do you look like a completely different…woman?"

"I don't know, John. That's why I came to you. I thought that you would help me."

He ignored my plea for help. "You say that a doctor saved you. Didn't this doctor have any answers for you?"

I couldn't think straight now. Should I tell him about what Dr. Cullen had said? Should I tell my husband that this man had claimed that I was one of the undead? The pain in my throat seemed to worsen. It was growing stronger and stronger. I was having trouble even standing here and having this conversation.

"The doctor said…Well, he said…"

"What? What did the doctor say?"

"He told me the strangest thing. I… really don't think he knows what he's talking about."

"Just tell me what he said, please."

"Well, he said that he had changed me to be like him. He said that it was the only way to save me and that he was sorry.

At this point, John was angry. He was practically trembling from head to toe with anger. Or was it fear? "What did he say that he had changed you into?"

I stopped. I couldn't tell him.

"Say it."

I whispered something too low for him to hear.

"Say it. Out loud."

"Vampire. He said that he had changed me into a vampire."

John ran both of his hands through his hair. He was crying now. "I should have known when I saw your eyes. I never thought this could be true. I always heard the talk that went on in the town. But I never believed. Oh, God. No. No!"

I stepped closer to him; he immediately shrank back. "John, please help me. This can't be true, can it? John, answer me!" I was starting to get angry. My own husband was treating me like a monster.

"You need to leave. Now."

"This is my home, too. You are my husband."

"No, I am not. You may have once been my wife, my Esme, but now you are just an evil mockery of her. Leave my house at once!"

His words were like daggers. "I am still your wife! I am still your Esme! I will not leave my own home! You are still my husband! I am not evil and I am not a monster!"

My speech had no effect on him. "Please don't make me do this. Please." He slowly turned back around, with one hand behind his back. I thought he was reaching for the gun, but he slipped his hand into a small box on the fireplace. He produced something wooden, with a sharp point at one end.

"Oh, my God." It was a wooden stake. I had never once believed in vampires and my husband claimed not to have, either. But he must have had his own fears and superstitions.

"I will not kill you just for the simple fact that you used to be my wife. I will let you walk out of this house right now, unharmed, as long as you leave this town and never return. But if you ever set foot in this place again, I will kill you."

He spoke without much emotion, but it was more than I could handle. It was all too much for me to bear. My husband was threatening to kill me. He didn't even believe that I was myself anymore and there was no way to prove him wrong. I had suffered so much loss. First my son and now my husband. My eternal soul was even at risk now, if I was to believe that I was truly a vampire, and there was really no way to deny it now. I snapped.

The only thing that I thought of while I sprinted towards my husband was my thirst. It was now consuming every inch of my body and mind. It was all I thought of and all that I cared about. I imagined myself sinking my teeth into his flesh and drinking his blood until it was all gone. Time seemed to stand still while I ran towards my husband, the love of my life.

**A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to get Chapter 6 out soon. If I have at least ten reviews from you all out there, that would be so great! Thanks for reading this. :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I just want to thank everybody who is reviewing my story. I love you guys! Hope you all like this chapter! **

**Chapter 6**

**Carlisle's POV**

"_Esme is gone."_

I stood staring at the open door, my mouth agape. I should've known something bad like this would happen. What was I thinking, leaving an unstable newborn vampire alone like this? I mentally berated myself for being so stupid and careless.

"We have to find her before its too late." Edward was standing beside me, face grim and still. For once, I knew exactly what he was thinking, instead of the other way around. And he was right; Esme was out in public by herself with only her intense thirst to guide her. The first human she came into contact with…I couldn't let myself finish the thought.

"You're right, Edward. We have to find her immediately."

We both hurried out the door; Edward stopped suddenly and turned to face me. "Didn't she mention that she had a husband that she wanted to see?"

"Yes, that's what she was speaking of before she left."

"Well, then she's probably gone to her house to find him."

I shook my head. "She probably left with that intention, but I doubt she made it. If she met anyone on the street…"I let my words trail off into nothing. I knew Edward could see what I meant.

"Damn it."

We hurried along the streets, cloaked in shadows. Twilight was approaching fast, the skies melting into soft shades of blues and purples. I grew more and more agitated as the minutes passed. Esme was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Edward was right and she had made it to her home. He turned at my unspoken idea.

"I believe that I know where Esme lives. We should go there now." I nodded my head in agreement, not even bothering to ask how he had obtained this knowledge. "Follow me." Edward led me down one of the side streets, not terribly far from our own dwelling. It was a very modest home, but very neat as well. It had an overall look of coziness to it, as if you would want to go in and curl up by the fire. It instantly soothed me; anything that was happening inside this house could not be as dreadful as I had imagined. These were my silent thoughts as I followed Edward to the front door. He didn't bother to knock; he simply walked in. I hesitated and then followed his lead.

The scene that I was met with was nothing like the cozy picture I had conjured up in my head only moments before. I was foolish to think such things, as if we could all sit by the fire and have a polite discussion about someone's wife being turned into a vampire. No, this was indeed not what was taking place.

Instead, there was a scene of horror and destruction before me. Esme lay crumpled in a heap beside the body of what must have been her husband. Her head was touching his chest; she rocked back and forth, sobbing without tears. I looked at Edward. He was having a difficult time controlling himself. I motioned for him to leave the room. He hastily walked out without glancing back. Walking over to Esme, I silently put one hand on her heaving shoulders. She immediately hissed and glared at me. The sight was shocking. I had been around death all of my life. I had to witness people dying and suffering almost every day. And I had been around Edward through his toughest years. But this…I had no words for this. It was suffering beyond imagination. Esme's face held the look of sadness, anger, shame, and hatred. Her self-loathing was almost palpable.

"This isn't your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't have let you out of my sight so soon. I am so sorry."

"Don't. Don't try to make me feel better. I have killed my husband. With my own hands. And not only have I murdered him, but I…I have fed off of him. I drank his blood. And I couldn't stop. He begged for his life and I couldn't stop, not even then. I am truly a monster."

Her words shook me to my very core, but I didn't let it show. "You are not a monster. You couldn't help your thirst for blood. It overwhelms a newborn vampire and it's all that you think about. I remember. Please, don't blame yourself. You need to get out of here and come with me."

"You want me to come with you? I don't want to come with you! I can't…You're the reason for why I'm like this. You made me into this!"

Even though her words hurt me, I knew that it was better that she blame me instead of blaming herself. She could heal better that way. I extended my hand toward her.

"Please come with me now. We need to get away from here as soon as we can. I will help you as best as I can. You just need to come with me now."

She shook her head slowly, all of her anger evaporated. "I can't leave my husband like this."

"But, don't you understand that if you stay here and someone was to come…"

"I deserve whatever punishment they give to me. I deserve to die for what I have done. I don't want to live anymore."

I knew that this would be hard for her to accept. "You don't understand, Esme. They wouldn't be able to hurt you. You would hurt them. It wouldn't even be intentional, but trust me, you would hurt them. You have to come with me now. Please." And it was true. If someone was to catch her like this, beside of her husband's dead body, Esme would probably attack. She may think that she doesn't want to live, but survival is an instinct to a vampire. Esme would do everything in her power to stay alive.

She hesitated and I could see the pain in her eyes. They were now a dull, deep red, since she had fed on human blood. Only after she was on a steady diet of animal blood would her eyes match mine and Edward's amber colored ones.

Her internal debate was over. I silently prayed that she would choose to come with me. "I will come with you, but only if you promise that you can help me. You have to help me. I can't do this anymore. I need to repent for what I have done and learn to control myself. I need you to teach me and help me."

I was struck with an unexpected warm feeling at her words. She wanted my teaching and help. I knew that I could do it. I put my hand out and she took it this time. A feeling so strong that it seemed to send a powerful wave through my body took over. I looked at Esme to see if she had felt anything, but she seemed not to notice anything. She was looking at her husband, one last time.

Her words came out in quiet whispers. "I'm so sorry, John. I never meant to hurt you. Please forgive me. I will always love you." She closed her eyes and bowed her head; her lips moved as if in a silent prayer. Then she looked at me. "I'm ready now."

And I was ready too. A strange feeling of hopefulness washed over me now, despite the circumstances. As I walked outside, Esme still clutching my hand, I could sense a change. Though I had no idea of what was coming, I knew that I could handle it. I had a greater responsibility now with Edward and Esme. But with greater responsibility came greater happiness; I now had two companions. I glanced at Esme and felt another swell of unexplained happiness. I knew without a doubt that the beautiful woman beside of me was meant to be here. Edward looked quickly at me, with a slight frown on his perfect face. But I ignored him. He would not ruin the feeling of peace that had come over me. No one would. Oh, but how wrong I was.

**A/N: Don't forget to review! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to everybody who is leaving me awesome reviews! They always make me smile. :) And anybody else who is reading this story and hasn't left me a review yet, it would be great if you would! Please. You know you want to. So, anyway, here's Chapter 7. Hope you guys like it. **

**Chapter 7**

**Esme's POV**

I have never before experienced guilt as profound as mine was now. There are no words to express the range of emotions that dwell inside of me; I was only certain that guilt was chief among them. My anger came and went, like heavy waves crashing down on me. It was directed toward me, Carlisle, and even my husband. I would think that if only John had tried to help me, then everything would be normal again. But I knew these were foolish thoughts. Fault could only be placed with me. I was living in a nightmare, never to wake up.

The days passed slowly.

Carlisle had insisted that we leave at once, despite my reservations. I hadn't wanted to leave the only home I had ever known. In the end, Carlisle had persuaded me to go along. He reminded me that staying would only bring me horrible reminders of what had happened.

My feelings on Carlisle were quite mixed. I couldn't help but like his kind and cool demeanor, but bitter resentment towards him would still creep up. After all, it was he who had made me into the creature that I despised. Were it not for him, I would be dead and my husband would be alive. This is how it should've been. But I could not remedy my current situation, so I did the best thing that I could-I let Carlisle help me. He taught me everything that I would need to know about being a vampire; I let him train me to hunt for animals so that I could drink their blood and survive.

And now I was living with both he and Edward in a remote Alaskan town. Months had gone by and things were going relatively smoothly. We kept to ourselves most of the time, especially me and Edward. Carlisle had to interact more with the townspeople since he was acting as a doctor. They accepted us and didn't ask too many questions, which was fortunate for us. They took our word that we were all siblings without a doubt. I had started to believe that I was adjusting fairly well to my new way of life. I began to grow bolder as the days went by.

It was a crisp November day and I decided that I was going out to hunt. It would be my very first hunt without Carlisle by my side. Edward and I were alone in the house because Carlisle was attending to a patient.

"Edward, I believe that I'm going out to hunt."

He glanced up at me from the newspaper in his hands. A deep frown was prominent on his face. "You're not thinking of going out alone, are you?"

"Well, yes, I think that I'm quite capable of hunting by myself now. Carlisle has been coming with me for months now. He has taught me everything that I need to know. I'm ready to go on my own now. And, besides, Carlisle isn't even here now. He's helping a patient."

"Well, I suppose I'll have to go with you then. You're definitely not ready for a hunt on your own. You will need my help."

This was just like Edward to assume that I would need his help. Indignation grew inside of me at his implications of my ability to hunt on my own. It seemed like I had been having help with everything! It was time I got my independence back. Gritting my teeth to keep from saying all of this, I simply smiled.

"I think that I am ready for this. I've listened to everything Carlisle has taught me. It's just one time and I really need to hunt. I haven't been in quite a while since Carlisle's been so busy. I can't wait any longer."

Edward hesitated for a long moment and slowly nodded. "I suppose you are right. But please be careful."

"I will be. I promise."

And without another word, I was out the door. Oh, it felt so good to have some freedom. It was nearly dark now and the secluded forest near our home was so peaceful. I hadn't been alone in ages. Either Carlisle or Edward was always hovering near me. I knew that they meant well, but I needed some time to be by myself. I needed some time to think and figure things out without being afraid that Edward was hearing my thoughts.

For the first time since becoming a vampire, I actually felt alive again. I ran and ran, without caring how fast I was going, just enjoying the wind in my hair. Suddenly, I saw a large deer in front of me. Without thinking, I leaped through the air and pounced on the deer. I tried not to think as I bit into the deer's neck and felt it's blood pulsing into my mouth. Though this was necessary, it still disgusted and repulsed me. It was better if I concentrated on my surroundings then on what was actually taking place.

And my surroundings were beautiful. Trees loomed high above my head, seeming to go on forever. The forest was so dense that it seemed almost magical and unreal. Snow hung heavy on the branches and clumped around my feet, glittering slowly as the sun set for the day. I became lost in nature's beauty as I finished my meal and began to walk around. I didn't run this time; it was much too breathtaking for that.

Time meant nothing to me. The sun had sunk below the horizon and the moon had taken its place. Still, I wandered on. I had so many things to ponder and consider. What was I going to do with my so-called life now? I had no idea what my options were. I could stay with Edward and Carlisle for the time being, but would they always want me around? Would I even want to stay with them? I didn't think I could stay on my own. Just the thought of my husband and child sent me into a state of panic. Even now, intense sadness crept its way into me and my thoughts.

I finally noticed the dark skies. Carlisle would be home now and would probably be worried about me. I began my journey back home, walking along the overgrown path. I was only a short distance from our house when I began to feel a strong sense of unease. It was as if I was not alone, as if something were with me in the dark trees. I laughed silently to myself. Even now as a vampire, I was still afraid of the dark.

But my feeling did not lessen; in fact, it increased. I definitely felt as if there was another presence here with me. It was more of a sense than anything. And then I heard a slight sound behind me. Whirling around, I was met with just shadows. The cry of a distant bird made me jump. This was beginning to get ridiculous. I was a vampire! Nothing could hurt me. I had no reason to be afraid.

I kept repeating this to myself in my head, over and over, as I stared out into the inky blackness. But then, seemingly out of nowhere, a shape began to form. It was the shape of a person. And for some unexplained reason, a single chill crawled down my spine. The chill turned into a shudder as the form spoke.

"Well, hello, Esme."

**A/N: Okay, there's Chapter 7. Hope you all liked it! And please, please, please, everybody that's reading this story, leave me a review! That would make my day! Thanks! **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Oh, wow! It has been such a long time since I've written! I'm really sorry, you guys! Thanks for being so patient with me! Hopefully, I won't be as busy as I have been and I'll be able to update sooner. Here's Chapter 8. (Finally!) **

**Chapter 8**

**Carlisle's POV**

It had been such a long day. I was physically and emotionally exhausted after having spent my day treating a patient who was terminally ill. The pain of seeing a person having to witness a family member die was almost unbearable for me. It brought back the unwelcome memory of when I had to do the same. Seeing my wife and children slowly age and die while I remained unchanged was worse than death. It was complete and utter hell. The worst part was not getting to say goodbye.

I was so relieved when I finally reached the home that I shared with Edward and Esme. I knew that I could depend on them both to distract my mind with thoughtful conversations that we often shared in the evenings. Thinking of Esme, I couldn't help but smile. She had made so much progress! An unfamiliar burning of pride made its way through me when I realized that it was I who had helped her and taught her. My feelings of accomplishment and contentment were cut short as I stepped through the door and into the house.

Edward was pacing back and forth, hands behind his back. His normally serene face was creased in a frown. I followed his rapid footsteps, which were much faster than the average human pace.

"Edward, what is it? What's wrong?"

He looked at me and then quickly away, not saying a word. I repeated the question, but he still remained silent. Fear instantly gripped me. This wasn't like Edward.

"You need to tell me what's going on." Looking around, I noticed that Esme was nowhere to be seen. "Edward, where is Esme?"

"Well, she went hunting."

"By herself?!"

"She told me that she was quite capable of going by herself. Esme hadn't gone hunting in a while. She needed the blood, so I thought that it would be fine to let her go."

I couldn't believe the words that were coming from his mouth. Edward was always so responsible. How could he have let Esme go out on her own? I had to literally clench my teeth together to keep from raising my voice in anger at Edward and saying words that I knew I would regret. Instead, I kept my tone low and reasonable.

"Do you not remember what happened the last time that Esme went out by herself? I know it was months ago, but she is still a young vampire, Edward. They make mistakes, as you well know."

Edward remained still, his face motionless. I knew that he was recalling his own days of rebellion when he first was turned. I hated having to remind him of those days, but I knew that he must realize the seriousness of the situation. If Esme had killed another human…I couldn't bear to finish the thought. This problem needed to be solved soon.

"Well, how long has she been gone? It shouldn't take but an hour for her to go on a simple hunting trip."

Silence met my query. Edward actually appeared uncomfortable. He was practically squirming in discomfort, which I thought was an impossibility for a vampire. In another circumstance, I might have found this amusing. Now, I found it to be annoying. I could no longer disguise my true feelings.

"Edward, you are wasting my time. While we are standing here, Esme could have…Damn it, Edward, just tell me how long she has been gone!"

Rarely did I raise my voice in anger, especially at Edward. Perhaps this is what caused him to finally give me the information that I needed. Regardless of the cause, he finally spoke.

"Esme left about three hours ago."

"Three hours? Did she mention where she was planning on going?"

Edward nodded his head eagerly. "Yes, she said she wasn't going to go far. I think she planned on going to the land not far from here, with all the trees."

That was a good sign. There was a dense forest that ran through this town. If she went there, it would be unlikely that she would make contact with any human beings. Perhaps she had just lost track of time, or maybe she was having difficulties hunting the animals. Relief coursed through me. I started to apologize to Edward for speaking harshly to him; the words died on my lips. Edward was holding his hands to his head, as if in severe pain. His lips moved without speaking.

"Edward, what is it? What's wrong?"

He looked at me, eyes flashing with panic. "It's Esme. She's in trouble. We need to go now."

Edward flew out the door and I followed him, only a second behind. I knew that I had to trust his ability, but I was concerned that he wouldn't know where to go. Unless…Maybe Esme had realized that there was a chance that Edward could read her mind now. She could lead us to her. Fear, hope, curiosity, and plain determination mingled inside of me. We ran through the deep shadows of the forest, Edward a little ahead of me due to his speed. I had no idea what to expect, but it was most certainly not what I was confronted with.

Esme was lying on the ground, writhing in pain. Small moans escaped her lips. Beside her, standing tall and graceful, was a beautiful vampire whom I never thought that I would see again. Her blonde hair, straight and shiny, hung down to her waist. I could see every breathtaking detail of her, even in the darkness, with my vampire vision. She was dressed in all red, matching her eyes. Her dress was long, trailing down to her ankles, with a slit all the way up to her thigh. Power was coming off her in almost tangible waves, as she turned her attention towards me.

"Hello there, Carlisle. It's been too long." Her voice was silky smooth, almost a purr. Chills raced down my spine. A low growl came from beside me. I had almost forgotten Edward was there. I held my hand out to him, a silent warning for him to stay still. He had no idea what we were dealing with.

"Violet."

Her name tasted bitter on my tongue. I could not believe she was once again here, in front of me. I stood silently as she came closer and closer. Edward grew uneasy beside of me.

"How do you know her, Carlisle?"

Violet laughed then, the sound beautiful and ominous at the same time. "Oh, Carlisle and I are old friends, Edward."

Edward's face gave away his startled reaction. "How the hell do you know my name?"

"Oh, I know everything about Carlisle. I know about you and I know about precious little Esme." Here, she laughed again.

I looked at Esme again; she had not moved. "If you have hurt her…"

"Oh, what will you do, Carlisle, love?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Carlisle, please tell me who this is. I need to know." Edward's voice was desperate; I was reminded of myself earlier, so I agreed to tell him.

"Violet is the vampire who changed me. She made me into a vampire, Edward." I did not mention that we had been lovers for a time, before I tried to kill her. I had realized that I did not wish to be a monster like Violet. She was the only person, vampire or human, that I had ever tried to murder. I once again regretted not being able to do so.

Violet walked to me, swaying her hips slowly. She was now inches away. "Oh, how I have missed you, my Carlisle. Have you not missed me?"

"No, I have not."

Anger flashed across her face, quick and frightening. The air seemed to quiver and change around her. Wind, that was not there a minute ago, now swirled her hair around her perfect face. Dread filled me at this sudden change. Edward beside me noticed this as well.

"Carlisle, what's going on?"

But I had no time to answer because Violet leaped towards me, faster than seemed possible, even for a vampire. I had not even seen her move. Her ruby red lips hovered near my ear. "We could have been so happy, Carlisle." Her lips brushed my neck, as if in a kiss. Pain shot through me and then I could see no more.

The world went black.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! And thanks to everybody who's reviewing my story! You guys are great! I hope you all liked this chapter. Please don't forget to review! :)**


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